Bealyn Estrada

Sweet Sixteen years of living

An autobiography by Bealyn Sarbelle C. Estrada

I was born on April 11, 2009, at Quezon City General Hospital to Annabelle Cera and Cesar Estrada. Since my parents weren’t married, they didn’t share the same last name. My mother worked as an OFW in Singapore, while my father served in the military. She took two years off to raise me before entrusting my care to my grandparents in Mangaldan.

I was allowed to do what I wanted since my grandparents didn't watch over me often. The only rule was that I wasn't allowed to go outside the house. Despite that, I was free to do whatever I want without anyone telling me what to do. On the other hand, my grandparents didn't like it when I cried and tried disciplining me every time I did. The unreasonable discipline was not the good amount of doubt I needed in my early years of living. I learned how to pretend to be happy every day just so they wouldn't get mad at me.

I'm sure you can see the patterns. This time, my family made me feel guilty for every mistake I made instead of helping me learn from them. They let me do whateverI wanted unsupervised, but controlled my life when they were watching over me. These were the years when innocents kept me naive. Surprise, surprised. This is where my inferiority complex started. I relied on people during this stage. No decision ever felt like mine. And ifI ever wanted to get my ideas out, I had to filter them through other people due to the fact that I was never confident in myself. Barely did. This photo of me was when I was forced into a pageant because I let everyone make the decision for me. I wasn't confident to make a decision for myself, so I let other people choose for me. 

When I was twelve, I already knew who I was to my peers. I was the academically failing weird girl. I embraced that identity for years. I knew I was being bullied because of it, but it didn't matter. I lost my dignity if it meant I could be happy. I embraced the weirdness and blocked the obvious bullying. It hurts. It hurts to the point I placed boundaries in my life. This messed with my mental health. Who knew that total isolation from the outside would make me confused about whoI was? I started questioning my sexuality, gender |identity, and even if I was real. Real messed up, that's for sure. I was stuck with my kuya, lola, and lolo. Though my lolo died in 2021. Don't feel bad, that man tried to kill me. During this time, I also questioned my sanity. Even though my grandfather tried to kill me, I still questioned if I was a good person.

COVID finally ended, and I was so excited to see faces again. Little did I know, it was the beginning of hell all over again. Seeing my childhood friends from kindergarten made me so happy. The start of the school year was fine until the bullying started. This is where my mental health needs took a toll on me. As a teen, I needed to be presentable. The people in my old school made me feel ugly. They made me feel angry, sad, disgusted, and scared myself! This is when my split personality started.

I was so tired at this point in my life. I gave up taking care of myself since my mental health was so drained. I didn't live. I survived. Everything moved so fast. Which l was grateful for. I hated every minute in Cinderella. I only cared about my grades and trying to keep myself sane. My hair got thinner, the bullying was worse, and I didn't care if I was known as the girl with anger issues. 

I loved being in Kingfisher. Everyone is super nice. I already made best friends and a questionable enemy. Either way, I love this place. I don't get bullied, most people like my weirdness, and I love some of the subjects here.



finally

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

“Learning is never done without errors and defeat.” -Vladimir Lenin

  “Learning is never done without errors and defeat.” -Vladimir Lenin   As students, we tend to expect the highest expectations we have for ourselves and others for us. We sacrifice ourselves to the point that we would prioritize academic goals rather than our health. There are instances wherein the expectations we have are far too high that when we fail we get so disappointed in ourselves because of failures that we didn’t want to happen. In reality, we have to accept that we won’t know real success without the failures in the way. We don’t become successful overnight, and the truth is: that’s okay. Many of us don’t really know that it’s okay to fail multiple times because that’s part of life. We will get there someday, and that’s why we learn.  We are distracted by the things we want to happen and never really seeing how far we’ve come. Yes, learning is really hard. We will fail, we will tumble, and we will feel failure; but that’s okay. Every successful person never be...
Read more

Cherishing Health is Cherishing Yourself

  Cherishing Health is Cherishing Yourself      Do you believe in the saying “Health is Wealth”?  It is a common phrase used to encourage one another to take care of our health. According to Mary Ann LL. Reyes (Philstar, 2025), the Philippines thrive for better health care system improvement. Many Filipinos suffer from unfair treatment due to biased selection, and many of us Filipinos also neglect our responsibility to care for our health.      Health isn’t something we have that we can carelessly neglect. Smoking, alcohol intake, obesity, fatigue, and many others are factors which lead us to Non-Communicable Diseases (NCDs). We can start caring for our health by simply: Maintaining a healthy balanced diet.      Eat only what we can eat. It’s significant for us to balance our meals as to fill our bodies with the nourishments we intake from our food. We only take what we can only eat to not also waste fo...
Read more

Khaylie Catama

  Autobiography of Khaylie C. Catama I am Khaylie C. Catama , born on February 15, 2009, in the vibrant city of Dagupan, Pangasinan. My story begins in a household where the values of faith, perseverance, and service were deeply instilled. These principles have been my compass, guiding me through the different chapters of my young yet meaningful journey. My educational path started at Bonuan First Baptist Learning Center, where I first stepped into the world of structured learning. From Kindergarten to Junior High School, I studied at Pangasinan Universal Institute, a place that became both a training ground and a home to my developing passions. Currently, I am pursuing the Humanities and Social Sciences strand at Kingfisher School of Business and Finance, where I continue to cultivate both intellect and character. Outside the classroom, I find myself drawn to the simple poetry of life—watching the sun melt into the horizon, cherishing moments with close friends and family, and exp...
Read more